Welcome to the first month of my Year of Happiness! This year, I'll be exploring one happiness-boosting activity each month from Sonja Lyubomirsky's book The How of Happiness. For January, we're starting with expressing gratitude.
Quick heads up: if some of these exercises make you cringe or feel like you're reading a cheesy self-help article, you're not alone! Even Dr. Lyubomirsky admits they can be a bit corny. Remember, not every activity will resonate with everyone, and that's why I wanted to explore all twelve approaches that the book examines throughout the year.
Ready to begin your gratitude practice? Sonja Lyubomirsky offers three different approaches, allowing you to choose what works best for your lifestyle and personality. Let's explore each method!
1. The Gratitude Journal
If you enjoy writing or already keep a diary, this might be your perfect match. Here's how to start:
Choose a quiet moment in your day – perhaps during your morning coffee or before bed
Write down 3-5 things you're grateful for
Include both small daily joys (a sunny day, a fixed dishwasher, your partner picking up dinner) and significant moments (your child's first word, an anniversary, a breathtaking sunset)
Need inspiration? Focus on what you know to be true about your life:
What are your strengths?
Which goals have you achieved?
What opportunities have you encountered?
Who has helped, touched, or contributed to your life?
Research suggests that writing once a week works well for most people. Daily journaling might feel like a chore, but there's no universal rule – experiment to find your natural rhythm, whether it's daily, twice a week, or twice a month.
2. Gratitude Contemplation
Not everyone enjoys writing, and that's perfectly fine! Instead, try setting aside time to quietly contemplate what you're grateful for. This can be during:
Your afternoon coffee break
A morning walk
While cooking dinner
Consider finding a "gratitude buddy" with whom you can share one thing you're grateful for each day or week. This accountability can be especially helpful if you tend to forget to practice (I know I do! 😀). Share things that bring you joy – favorite recipes, walks, or projects – and discover new perspectives on your life.
3. Direct Expression of Gratitude
Perhaps the most powerful method is expressing gratitude directly to others, whether in person, by phone, or in writing. Research shows that writing and delivering gratitude letters to people who've positively impacted your life significantly boosts happiness – a feeling that can last a week or longer.
Interesting fact: Even if you're not comfortable delivering your message, simply writing the letter (without sending it) can increase your happiness!
Keep It Fresh!
Remember, repetition can lead to boredom. If one approach starts feeling stale:
Switch between different methods
Try sharing one week and writing the next
Focus on different life areas each week
Adapt these exercises to fit your lifestyle
These activities are for your benefit – make them work for you. And most importantly, have fun!
Reference:
Lyubomirsky, Sonja (2007). The How of Happiness. A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want. Penguin Books.
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